Baby Boomers used to be cool. They used to be the fun-loving rebels. Well, times have changed and, while they’re still cool, they are increasingly becoming known as the Sandwich Generation. Still caring for their kids and starting to care for their parents.

If you’re already in that situation or foresee it happening in the near future, you should know right now – these are not the same thing. You may have thought kids were hard, but at least in dealing with kids you’re The Parent. When they’re little, you have full authority. They may become more rebellious in their teenage years, but you still have some cards you can play to get them to do what you want – taking away the car keys, the cell phone, or computer time, etc. Need I say more?

But your parents? Well, they’re a different story. As they age, a certain role reversal does begin to emerge – especially if dementia is part of the picture. They are less able to take care of themselves – but just like with your kids – they often don’t want to admit it. So what do you do?

Be patient. Believe me, this is easier said than done. But it’s the key to almost every interaction you’ll have with your aging parents. If you think they shouldn’t drive, you’ll need to work up to taking the keys away slowly. Get help from the family doctor if possible.

If they are ready to make a move to senior living – or if you feel they should be making that move – start the discussion. Include them in touring facilities. Talk up the benefits – no need to cook, drive or do their own laundry. There are fun activities!

Respect their points of view. You may not agree – and you may need to use your tenuous power of veto if their choices would put them in danger (e.g. driving or living alone if they have become confused or frail). Listen to what they have to say and let them know you understand. Try to reason with them rather than bullying them to do what you want them to do.

Give them space. If you become your parents’ caregiver in your own home, establish boundaries. Include them in family activities, dinners, etc. so they feel a part of the family. But allow them their own space and time alone as well. After all, most senior adults lived on their own for many many years and it’s not easy to have to abide by someone else’s rules and schedules.

And finally, be patient. Oh wait – did I already say that? If they’re angry, be patient in your reasoning with them. If you’re angry, be patient in confronting them. Be patient when they move (eat and dress) slowly. Be patient when they can’t find the right words. Be patient when they tell you what to do. It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. But in the end, you’ll be glad you did.

The post Caring for Someone You Care About appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

Dear Mr. or Ms. Scumbag,

I really hope you’re enjoying my cell phone. While, sure – it isn’t getting service as I did report that sucker stolen – it does have a bunch of features on it, as you undoubtedly know.

While I’m sure you’re having a  blast beating my high scores in those games I liked, and filling up the rest of the space not taken up my images of my daughter (she’s a ham for the camera as I’m sure you’re well aware by those pictures on it).

I really hope you’re enjoying it, I mean I know I would be and have.

You know, before you decided finders keepers and whatnot.

Then again, I’d enjoy any cell phone now, as that was my means of communication with the outside world and my work. I unfortunately don’t have the budget now to drop $30, let alone $300 on a new phone, having a scumbag steal one’s cell isn’t something somebody normally accounts for.

I’m sure you’ve clearly noticed I’m not that exciting, I do work a lot. Funny how you have what was my ‘mobile work’ so to speak. It’s okay though, I mean being tethered home on my computer is okay too I suppose.

While I’m terribly sorry it’s a measly 3Gs, and not one of the newer, fancier models. It was still very much in use by myself, who was fine without Siri and the other whistles.

I mean, as you know – my primary communication device was and is important considering I have a family member who is gravely ill, a fact that no doubt you’ve noticed on the screen as I desperately tried to get you to give me my cell phone back, going so far to explain the situation to you.

One person’s misfortune is another’s newly stolen phone, right?

While no doubt you’ve also noticed the update notice, around the time you’d stolen it. As I hadn’t been quite able to update yet, due to the jailbreak. You’ve also no doubt noticed the annoying ringing as I had attempted to alert some kind soul to it, which sadly only seemed to have alerted you, dear thief.

What makes it all the more frustrating is of course that I know generally who you are, thanks to one of the few security apps I had installed. Unfortunately, your boss is covering for you.

Lovely.

Anyway, you scum of the Earth, I hope you enjoy that cell, my cell phone.

Sleep quietly knowing that you’re a horrible individual who I sincerely hope is pecked at by rabid hummingbirds-carrying salt and lemons on them, for some unknown reason.

I do realize you’ll likely ignore the link I’ve sent you, but if not – thanks for reading.

Love,

The Person Who Wants Her Cellphone Back.

The post An Open Letter To The Person Who Stole my Phone appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

While it’s not always so poignant, when it is it can be indescribably real.

Because sometimes we live in a fog. That fog helps to cover the more unpleasant things we’d rather not think about. Things that we’ve done, or have had done to us. We can tell ourselves it will get better.

Sometimes, the truth reveals itself harshly. It will come with tears, pain, and heartbreak. It can reveal things about ourselves we didn’t want to see. It can become harsher than things were in the fog. The funny thing about truth is that it can seem hidden, especially when you’re close to a bad situation.

It’s very much like the paining above. If you look to closely, it seems to be countless tiny dots, however, when you step back the full image and weight is revealed.

That’s the funny thing with truth, sometimes all we can see are the dots, and it takes a special occurrence to see the full picture.

Often, domestic abuse behaves much like the painting as well, while the reveal likely isn’t a beautiful image. The reveal comes with a lot of pain, and the realization upon realization serves to offer up even more.

However, after the reveal, and the hopeful move to a safer environment the surprising thing is? The picture itself may present itself renewed with beauty. Survival, and the new chance at life. It can be invigorating, and terrifying.

The signs as they come up in these situations, and societal pressures can serve to make things even murkier.

S/he really loves me. S/he didn’t mean that. S/he’s just under a lot of pressure. S/he didn’t say that to hurt me, but to help.

The excuses one can come up with to explain away their partner’s behavior can make so much sense at the time, that it’s not only until far later that the truth is realized.

Abuse is systematic. Abusers don’t wear badges, just as they don’t show most of the more severe ‘deal breaking’ behaviors right off the bat. Often, it starts as smaller (while still damaging) things like comments. It’s only after they feel safer with the partner that the real monster behind them is let out more and more.

Abusers need you to be reliant on them, and they’ll likely treat you like gold at first – only for the shiny veneer to wear off to show the hideous creature underneath.

 The study found that whether male or female, aggressive people share a cluster of traits, including high rates of suspicion and jealousy; sudden and drastic mood swings; poor self-control; and higher than average rates of approval of violence and aggression.

Source: Wiki

While it’s not always so apparent. It usually starts far smaller. They may fail all the traditional ‘tests’ so to speak. They may treat staff wonderfully, be great tippers, and generally funny and sociable.

However.

It’s not okay to treat another like dirt. It’s not okay to call them names, hurt them, threaten them, nor tear them down emotionally or physically.

It’s never okay.

And in that? In that lies the truth. Hard and bright, and in your face. The truth is? If you’re in a dangerous situation, it’s important to find your way out of it. Even if you think nobody will talk to you ‘now’, try them. Most will. Call your friends, call your family, and call for help.

If you are, or know somebody who is being abused – the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224

The post The Simplicity Of Truth appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

I’ve started a funding drive on IndieGoGo for supporting the arts. Every bit counts, and I’ve been working on this idea for while now, and would love to see it come to fruition. My overall idea is two-fold – supporting both artists and charities.

The artists will be given the option to donate all or some of their profits to the charity of their choice, and in addition to community drives and other methods, my hope is that we can help.

The Idea:

Custom microsites and profiles with options they need and the creative freedom they want and should have. I’m not looking for this to ever be the next Facebook, but instead something to help support both the arts and the fellow human. Pushing the arts forward through a simple and rewarding means is important, especially with so many schools cutting funding for the arts.

I’m looking to bring them back to the forefront. Artists deserve compensation for their work, and at a reasonable rate. Many websites out there don’t cater to that.

I’m looking to create a place where artists can sell their work, and look for more, for far more reasonable rates. The pricing would be based around what they want, and people who are looking for an artist will be able to ask in an appropriate area, and find the creative to work with them on their project.

I’m an artist myself, who has worked for far less than they should have. This would create a venue for artists to sell, promote, and, do some good with their work. I’m looking into supporting charities that are also within the same scope as the website I’m looking to make.

The money will be going towards development, launching costs, and other needed expenses.I’m also looking into working with a non-profit that supports humanity without an ulterior motive.

Why funding?

• The money I raise will go into the following:
• Start up costs (hosting, domain, set up)
• Development of the website
• Initial, and ongoing advertising campaigns

I’ve also been looking into charities to work with on this project, as ideally I’d also like to be able to promote them as well as offer the option for the users of the website to donate a portion of the proceeds they receive toward them.

What can you do?

Even if you can’t contribute monetarily there’s still a few ways you can help. Below are the things that would be simply fabulous if you could help with:

• Spread the word! Either my liking this post, or the fundraising page.
• Donate.
• If you work for a cause, let me know – I’m compiling a list of charities to work with.
• Send this link to people you know that may be able to help – again every bit counts!

The post Supporting the arts, One artist at a time appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

I have a serious problem when it comes to notebooks. I know I need to stay FAR away from them, but that doesn’t really stop me from spending all my money on looking at them. Zazzle, a website I use for a bulk printer and have some rather nice stuff on (seriously, they’re awesome) recently added notebooks to their offerings and I’ve been completely in love with them.

Because I’m either looking for validation of my notebook addiction or a support group – below are some really awesome selections from the main marketplace.

Pipe Dreams Spiral Note Book by BurntSnow

All I can think of: “Excuse me sir, I moustache you a question”. Then I’d giggle, and people would stare – it would be hilariously awkward. Well, I’d be laughing at least.

Chic Chevron by fancybelle

I absolutely adore this look (keep in mind, Zazzle is renowned for customizations, so yes – that text? You can totally chance it up). The overall look is so chic, and I absolutely am loving the greens and grey.

Red Checks Recipe Notebook by PatternPlethora

I’m not kidding when I say that both my mom and both my grandmothers had this exact style recipe book. The design itself is so classic that I can’t see red gingham without salivating.

Cute Narwhal by LizaPhoenix

I don’t think this notebook needs any praise. Seriously now, CUTE NARWALS.  Okay, also? I have an issue with illustrations with big eyes, I love them way too much.

Keep Calm and Carry On Notebook by vintage_emporium

Sure it’s the literal definition of Orwellian, but c’mon it’s a classic. Plus, every time you hear somebody say ‘1984’ you could totes make a joke about ‘wrote the book on it’ and pull it out. It would be FANTASTIC.

Notebooks by keepcalmstudio

Or, alternately, if you’re not one of those people who prefers not to mess with people because somebody on the internet said so, there’s one of these great parodies.

Life is too short to be anything but happy note books by VectorGraphics

A message anyone can get behind.

So? Do you see the reason I have way too much notebook love now? If not of course you can just click ‘close’ but really. Aside from developing this during my awkward high school sans ‘deep poet’ phase, I don’t see this going away anytime soon.

The post Confession: I have An Office Supply Fetish appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

May As Well Say ‘Keep Calm and Cliché On’

Life isn’t a fairy tale.

It’s easy to acknowledge that certain times. Prince Charming is kind of creepy (what with his kissing sleeping girls and all), and the wicked witch is far more likely to be that older woman down the street with all the cats.

You know the one. She’s probably not that bad, anyway.

I’d rather like having a ton of kitties running about, kitties rock.

Anyway- back to fairy tales.

As a girl, my growing up years were filled with them. In books, movies, and other media.

To a degree they were like how-to guides on how to land my very own prince. My fairy tale was just one coma, lost shoe, or dead parent away. Getting the guy was as easy as sitting around waiting for misfortune, so I could be rescued as swept off my feet (you know, baring lack of grave bodily injury (save for comas as those seem to be prince magnets).

Even as a kid, I wasn’t really into the misfortune part (while I do and did see the narrative point on that).

This scene is one I have to give Disney some real kudos on, considering the original part in the book is really, really messed up. In the original Sleeping Beauty is awakened by one of her children sucking on her finger.

One of the children who she had whilst in a coma.

…the sleep did not stem from a curse, but was prophesied; that the king did not wake Talia from the sleep with a kiss, but raped her, and when she gave birth to two children, one sucked on her finger, drawing out the piece of flax that had put her to sleep, which woke her.

(Source)

Coma kisses? Comparatively, not as creepy.

Or maybe if I gave up everything that mattered to me?

Truthfully, I have one of the non-Disney versions of this. The end traumatized me (spoiler: She drowns herself at the end). I think I’d rather the Disney version, impalement and all.

I think I’m realizing why Alice In Wonderland is my favorite.

A.) This handsome devil:

B.) Probably this scene (as the image doesn’t seem to want to work here’s a link to the video).

Plus, Alice is simply awesome. She’s 7 1/2, if I remember correctly (by which I mean I Googled it and am hoping it’s right). Her age means – no princes, no prince-getting comas, and she’s just having fun. Which is awesome.

No part of this entry is meant to say that these movies are in any way ‘bad’. I still like them, and while the constant influx of pink-princess crap my daughter gets annoys me, that’s a whole ‘nother complaint.

She has no desire to be ‘rescued’ at all. She will be doing the rescuing, thank you very much.

That’s the funny thing about kids, she’ll be playing queen one moment then catching worms the next.

Princess movies and all.

The post {Spoiler Alert} Fairy Tales Can Be Messed Up appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

The Points:

• People want birth control to be more difficult to access.
• People want abortions harder to access.
• Rinse and repeat.

Is it just me or are these two items just working against each other?

It makes sense for it to be covered. After all, they’ve found out that there’s many other uses for the pill (as one small example). We’re talking quality of life benefits here, not just the decreased risk of pregnancy. Those additional benefits:?

Here’s just a few:

Fewer PMS Symptoms

The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals reports that the hormones in birth control pills also decrease many of the symptoms of PMS (premenstrual syndrome). This includes breast tenderness, bloating and weight gain. In fact, it has been prescribed for this purpose (in addition to pregnancy prevention) for more than 40 years.

 

Lower Risk of Certain Cancers

According to the Human Reproduction Update, the risks of many types of cancers are lower in people who take birth control pills. Ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer and colorectal cancer risks are all reduced in women who use oral contraceptives, especially those containing estrogen.

Decreased Endometriosis Symptoms

Endometriosis is a painful condition that causes growth of uterine lining outside of the uterus. Birth control pills not only decrease some of the side effects of endometriosis, such as dysmenorrhea, but, according to the Human Reproduction Update, they can also reduce the rate of endometrial cell proliferation. In other words, they can decrease the tissue formation outside the uterine walls. The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals report that up to 80 percent of women with endometriosis found birth control pills significantly reduced their symptoms.

Read more: Here

Yes, this is just a small percentage benefits of some birth control uses.

Clearly, birth control is typically used as just that. It’s primary use isn’t to help endometriosis. It’s plainly used to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It’s a medically prescribed preventative measure.

So is Viagra.

Only one of these is under fire.

Now, obviously it’s used to prevent unwanted pregnancies, which honestly – is a good thing as well. I’m very much for educations on options and proper sex ed. I do believe that knowledge is a main factor in prevention of many issues, from teen pregnancy to quelling the spread of STDs.

Education

Many of the same people are fighting against proper education of the topics as well. Which has been shown to have a negative outcome. abstinence-only simply does not work. I understand having ‘the talk’ with children isn’t easy, and it can be downright uncomfortable, but unfortunately it is important.

After all, what do people typically do when told ‘not to’ do something? Normally? They do it. Telling somebody, especially younger generations that something is forbidden makes it all the more alluring.

If they don’t learn from a reliable source, who will teach them?

The Media

We live in a society that is saturated with sexual messages. No matter how hard one tries, it’s almost impossible to prevent children from hearing and seeing some of these messages. Even if one were somehow successful in preventing their child from experiencing any of those messages, their friends or classmates likely will say something.

Education – proper education on the topic of prevention and safety can however teach them that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and how to protect themselves later in life. For teens as well.

Back to the point

Birth control itself is still seen as a primarily woman’s issue. While the argument about that not being ‘right’ can and should be brought to point, it isn’t the point of this post.

Preventing unintended pregnancy is in and of itself – very important. Reducing the rates, with health insurance options, can go a long way in pushing other issues as well. Many people are barely making ends meet, and having even a small burden lifted can go a long way.

We are talking about people who are trying to be responsible, who are trying not to have children for their own reasons. Why should they incur the costs of prevention, when it is a medical issue? As taxpayers, we’re paying for:

• Propecia (for balding and thinning hair)
• Tooth Whitening
• Viagra (and other erectile dysfunction treatments)

Now, obviously not all plans cover the above.

Sound off: What do you think? What should be covered?

The post Birthcontrolling: Really, America? appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

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GAP – BE ONE Advertisement

image via: lgbtqnation.com

I don’t get a lot of protest groups, and I’m speaking as an ex-PeTA member (don’t laugh, too hard).

I do however get that people sometimes need something to cling to, and they can usually find that in some special interest kind of group. Belonging. There’s groups out there for people with most thoughts, feelings, ideals, and beliefs. Normally it’s a good thing, and after all – they do have that right.

Other citizens also have the right to speak out against them.

One Million Moms

While admittedly, I hadn’t really given ‘One Million Moms’ much thought, I had heard their name a time or two. Thought they were minor, and not really a thing. I can’t recall where I had heard the name, just that I had indeed heard it. I had assumed (correctly) that they were yet another misnomer-themed group that was a branch off of a larger – already frowned upon group (I’m seriously jaded, but still – correct).

Browsing these here interwebs, I came across this image: link (warning, not safe for work).

Again I had heard of them, and at first I figured – oh, it can’t be that bad. So, I moseyed on over to my best friend in times like this, Google, and clickety clacked until I reached their website.

Reading the ‘About’ page on their website, one is inclined to think they’re a respectable group.

It can be summed up thusly:

OneMillionMoms.com was begun to give moms an impact with the decision-makers and let them know we are upset with the messages they are sending our children and the values (or lack of them) they are pushing.

While I do believe in a more parent-oriented approach, I can still respect that much.

This group is so beyond respectable. They hide behind a ‘think of the children’ approach to disguise their blatant hateful messages. The image at the top of this article is from a GAP campaign. Aside from the inherit issues trying to walk, or something while in the same shirt, really isn’t offensive at all. Then again neither is their other targets:

• JC Pennnny (Bonus awesome: Jcpenney didn’t listen or budge to OMM’s comments, but decided to keep Ellen along with releasing a statement that read, “Ellen represents the values of our company.” )
• DC/ Marvel Comics (Bonus! Comic fans rock.)
• Macy’s (June is Gay Pride Month all across America, and retailerMacy’s is celebrating the month by featuring merchandise in its stores from the Human Rights Campaign.)

In looking at their website, it seems like they’ve attempted to clean up their act a tad. Which still isn’t saying much, if anything. In one (now deleted, but cached ‘action call’ they say:

Ryan Murphy, an open homosexual and the producer of GLEE, is pushing political correctness and his lifestyle choice on teens. Teenagers are being desensitized, but parents can do something about this hidden agenda.

(Cached Link – There’s worse there, be forewarned.)

I’m sure that with a bit more time and a stronger stomach, one would very likely find that they’ve deleted quite a bit. Going by their motive, and their views – it seems it was done not as a change of heart – but to appear to be more palatable for the general public. With support for same-sex marriage (or, you know what it’s actually called : marriage) rising steadily, one would expect them to be forced into appearing more sane.

Under the AFA Umbrella, Natch

They are a part of one of my least favorite ‘non-profit organization’ – American Family Association. Being so, they have the same kind of insanity, hidden under some ‘maternal’ front. That alone is disgusting, as you can put whatever type of sugary-sweet coating on hatred and biggotry – it’s still hatred and biggotry.

Donald Wildmon ~ Founder AFA

The founder, Donald ‘ironic last name’ Wildmon himself, like all those with their knickers in a bunch, has protested against such immortal things as:

• Disneyland/Walt Disney World
• The Last Temptation of Christ
• Dallas
• Madonna’s Like a Prayer
• Robert Clark Young
• Blockbuster Video
• Three’s Company
• M*A*S*H

OMM comes from a long line of intolerance and hate-filled messages which I don’t want my child ever hearing. I find them far more offensive than any ads, commercials, or comic book characters that they ‘fight’ against.

People like them are a dying breed. Support for marriage equality has been steadily on the rise, as it should be. People don’t stand for intolerance, nor ignorance. OMM and it’s parent organization hopefully will be duly laughed at, and one can hope – someday- shut down.

My daughter has seen couples of various gender combinations, she know that love is simply that. Love. I’m proud of that, and her.

The outdated thinking of these ‘groups’ is a poison, it’s sneaky and vile. They are far more dangerous to our society than anything they ‘protest’.

They preach hatred, they fight love, and they need to be rightfully laughed at. In this case? Laughter really is the cure.

The post One Million Moms: Who’s The Bully Now? appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.

It’s been a really long few weeks.

Okay, considering that it’s been longer than ‘a few weeks’ I should mention that I’m being figurative here, all sorts of metaphors are tossing themselves around hurling themselves 100 mph at brick walls.

While it was a very productive absence, which is surely a small comfort for that one person who seems to religiously read my blog (well, going by the spam comments, you good sir – are a gentleman and a true patriot.

Kiddo’s been, well… Showing some signs of likely having been raised by some wild animal that’s a mixture of wolf, banshee, shark and the Tasmanian Devil himself. In public, I’ve been offered advice ranging from eye rolls, death glares, and the occasional clicking of the tongue. It’s still a step up I suppose from being kicked out (seriously, kind people my daughter leaves in her wake, I salute you).

Overall, the main issue is change. More change, at least.

I had finished school, and started in on being an unpaid and heavily caffeinated intern. All was okay, she was doing fabulous at school. Making friends, all was great! Things were chugging alone fabulously.

I mean here she was, used to being with me most of the time (working at home and all). So, she had seriously adjusted amazingly! Yay!

Nope. After a few weeks, poor kid fell ill to one of the many ick variations that kids love to pass amongst each other. No biggie, she got to hang out with grandma for a bit. Well, while the ick itself wasn’t too bad, she was up later than normal coughing.

Well, okay… That sucks but nothing we haven’t been through before.

Those nights up coughing lasted a tad longer, and now with memorial day, a few longer weekends (and weekend nights), and a host of other things, this poor kid is way too over tired lately. Which of course doesn’t help with handling things, big or small.

Win some, lose some I guess.

The post 62 Days Later appeared first on Not Quite Cookie Cutter.