The Simplicity Of Truth
The truth has a simple elegance to it. Sometimes when it hits you, you can just wrap your brain around and nearly taste the idea itself. While that taste of truth may not always be pleasant, or kind – it’s there. The truth.
While it’s not always so poignant, when it is it can be indescribably real.
Because sometimes we live in a fog. That fog helps to cover the more unpleasant things we’d rather not think about. Things that we’ve done, or have had done to us. We can tell ourselves it will get better.
Sometimes, the truth reveals itself harshly. It will come with tears, pain, and heartbreak. It can reveal things about ourselves we didn’t want to see. It can become harsher than things were in the fog. The funny thing about truth is that it can seem hidden, especially when you’re close to a bad situation.
It’s very much like the paining above. If you look to closely, it seems to be countless tiny dots, however, when you step back the full image and weight is revealed.
That’s the funny thing with truth, sometimes all we can see are the dots, and it takes a special occurrence to see the full picture.
Often, domestic abuse behaves much like the painting as well, while the reveal likely isn’t a beautiful image. The reveal comes with a lot of pain, and the realization upon realization serves to offer up even more.
However, after the reveal, and the hopeful move to a safer environment the surprising thing is? The picture itself may present itself renewed with beauty. Survival, and the new chance at life. It can be invigorating, and terrifying.
The signs as they come up in these situations, and societal pressures can serve to make things even murkier.
S/he really loves me. S/he didn’t mean that. S/he’s just under a lot of pressure. S/he didn’t say that to hurt me, but to help.
The excuses one can come up with to explain away their partner’s behavior can make so much sense at the time, that it’s not only until far later that the truth is realized.
Abuse is systematic. Abusers don’t wear badges, just as they don’t show most of the more severe ‘deal breaking’ behaviors right off the bat. Often, it starts as smaller (while still damaging) things like comments. It’s only after they feel safer with the partner that the real monster behind them is let out more and more.
Abusers need you to be reliant on them, and they’ll likely treat you like gold at first – only for the shiny veneer to wear off to show the hideous creature underneath.
The study found that whether male or female, aggressive people share a cluster of traits, including high rates of suspicion and jealousy; sudden and drastic mood swings; poor self-control; and higher than average rates of approval of violence and aggression.
While it’s not always so apparent. It usually starts far smaller. They may fail all the traditional ‘tests’ so to speak. They may treat staff wonderfully, be great tippers, and generally funny and sociable.
It’s not okay to treat another like dirt. It’s not okay to call them names, hurt them, threaten them, nor tear them down emotionally or physically.
It’s never okay.
And in that? In that lies the truth. Hard and bright, and in your face. The truth is? If you’re in a dangerous situation, it’s important to find your way out of it. Even if you think nobody will talk to you ‘now’, try them. Most will. Call your friends, call your family, and call for help.
If you are, or know somebody who is being abused – the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is: 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224