{Spoiler Alert} Fairy Tales Can Be Messed Up

{Spoiler Alert} Fairy Tales Can Be Messed Up


May As Well Say ‘Keep Calm and Cliché On’

Life isn’t a fairy tale.

It’s easy to acknowledge that certain times. Prince Charming is kind of creepy (what with his kissing sleeping girls and all), and the wicked witch is far more likely to be that older woman down the street with all the cats.

You know the one. She’s probably not that bad, anyway.

I’d rather like having a ton of kitties running about, kitties rock.

Anyway- back to fairy tales.

As a girl, my growing up years were filled with them. In books, movies, and other media.

To a degree they were like how-to guides on how to land my very own prince. My fairy tale was just one coma, lost shoe, or dead parent away. Getting the guy was as easy as sitting around waiting for misfortune, so I could be rescued as swept off my feet (you know, baring lack of grave bodily injury (save for comas as those seem to be prince magnets).

Even as a kid, I wasn’t really into the misfortune part (while I do and did see the narrative point on that).

Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming

This scene is one I have to give Disney some real kudos on, considering the original part in the book is really, really messed up. In the original Sleeping Beauty is awakened by one of her children sucking on her finger.

One of the children who she had whilst in a coma.

…the sleep did not stem from a curse, but was prophesied; that the king did not wake Talia from the sleep with a kiss, but raped her, and when she gave birth to two children, one sucked on her finger, drawing out the piece of flax that had put her to sleep, which woke her.


Coma kisses? Comparatively, not as creepy.


Or maybe if I gave up everything that mattered to me?

Truthfully, I have one of the non-Disney versions of this. The end traumatized me (spoiler: She drowns herself at the end). I think I’d rather the Disney version, impalement and all.

I think I’m realizing why Alice In Wonderland is my favorite.

A.) This handsome devil:


B.) Probably this scene (as the image doesn’t seem to want to work here’s a link to the video).

Plus, Alice is simply awesome. She’s 7 1/2, if I remember correctly (by which I mean I Googled it and am hoping it’s right). Her age means – no princes, no prince-getting comas, and she’s just having fun. Which is awesome.

No part of this entry is meant to say that these movies are in any way ‘bad’. I still like them, and while the constant influx of pink-princess crap my daughter gets annoys me, that’s a whole ‘nother complaint.

She has no desire to be ‘rescued’ at all. She will be doing the rescuing, thank you very much.

That’s the funny thing about kids, she’ll be playing queen one moment then catching worms the next.

Princess movies and all.