Not Quite Happily Ever After

is6345pthumb I got married in black.

A black pinstriped trench coat (almost like the one in the image, but mine doesn’t have any ribbon) to be more exact. Now, it wasn’t like I was rushing that day or even that I didn’t own any ‘nice clothing’ it just seemed right at the time. Plus, while I can honestly say that the red top I wore underneath did clash with my pink hair.

The coat however, is awesome.

I love that coat.

Still, it was better than what we originally were going to do.

We were supposed to get married around Halloween in some sort of themed affair, which would have been awesome (even if the marriage itself did suck). While yes, it would have been awesome- considering how everything wound up- it would’ve been a huge shame to waste that idea.

No, no bat decorations though, as that would be cheesy*.

I guess I’m not what one would call traditional. Then again, the ‘wedding’ was a very last second thing due to the deployment (honestly- I’m not sure if we would have lasted until October, more than likely the relationship would’ve exploded before then). For some reason we thought it was a spectacular idea to get married beforehand.

Now, I do doubt that it was the ceremony (or, you know lack there of), that made the following happen, I think it’s just poor decision making skills of this blogger (red flags were a-plenty).

You know how most brides say it was the happiest day of their lives? How in love they are and happy on their wedding day they felt. Basically, the standard overflowing of emotion that may be caused by excessive cake** (because cake is awesome).

Yeah, there was none of that. At all. I felt nothing. Not in a void of emotion way, or even an oops I messed up way. Just nothing. It was just another day.

To this day, it was still just another day. I find it hard to believe we were really married, and if weren’t for the considerably more expensive divorce, I probably still wouldn’t really think we had been.

I used to defend that no, I did not rush into it.  I was ready at the time, and it seemed like the ‘right thing ™’. Looking back with more emotional maturity and foresight?

It shouldn’t have happened. While yes, good things came from that (namely my daughter), I don’t think we should have even been together at that point (see the note about red flags above).

*I’m classy like that.

**Joke, really. But cake is indeed the best thing ™.