If You Complain About Being a ‘Nice Guy’ Then You Probably Aren’t
Oh, Nice Guys, what would we do without them? With their friendship on the basis that it will turn into something else, or their incessant complaints that women only like ‘Bad Boys’. It’s enough to make a girl swoon isn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, as there are many guys out there who are indeed wonderful people with no hidden agendas or issues (those however are few and far in between).
The Nice Guys (note the capitals) however, seem to grow more and more prevalent by the day. While the standard for an actual nice guy doesn’t really need defining, and if a guy is legitimately a good guy more than likely he already knows it (or at least doesn’t need to be told).
However, a Nice Guy may not realize that he is really just someone who isn’t having problems with women because we all secretly want a jerk, no they are having problems with women due to their own actions.
If you have a lot of relationship problems, and those problems seem to be the same in every relationship you have eventually you may need to face it that you are the common denominator and that the issue may actually be you.
Urban Dictionary has a spot on definition:
Nice Guy Syndrome
A annoying mental condition in which a heterosexual man concocts over simplified ideas why women aren’t flocking to him in droves. Typically this male will whine and complain about how women never want to date them because he is “too nice” or that he is average in appearance. He often targets a woman who is already in a relationship; misrepresenting his intentions of wanting to be her friend and having the expectation that he is owed more than friendship because he is such a good listener. He is prone to brooding over this and passive aggressive behavior.
He is too stupid to realize the reason women don’t find him attractive is because he feels sorry for himself, he concludes that women like to be treated like shit.
Nice Guy Syndrome is one reason why I don’t try to make friends with heterosexual men.
Men who suffer from NGS vary from the angst filled teenager with no date on friday night to the 49 year old man who has never been married or had a meaningful relationship with a woman.
(Source : #2 On the page)
Sure, other theories abound but logically those aren’t always feasible. Yes, it is true that a woman could feel too close friend-wise to a guy to not want to ruin that, it does happen. However, often and in a terminal case of Nice Guy syndrome it is much more likely to be the first cause. Let’s face it, being friends with someone only with something else in mind is manipulative, at best.